Untampered Sex

Untampered Sex

Why should I not have sex? 

Sex outside of marriage is destructive and irreversible. Sex is God given and intended for intimacy and holiness. What makes it irrational is that it robs us of intimacy and restricts us to temporary pleasure. This is an extremely brief explanation, though nonetheless essential for pursuing the most in our relationships and whole devotion to one person, in one covenant, for one lifetime. But moreover, the consequences are innumerable and the devastation is unfathomable. 

Sex outside of marriage doesn’t equip you for marriage, it builds up walls and fences to keep you out of the gardens of imperishable sexual fruit and intimacy with your spouse. Frequent sex does not increase itself linearly on a scale destined for unimaginably pleasurable fleets. It kills our idea of true love and it flees the true meaning of love. This unequivocal love, that we chase with the best intentions, eventually fades into ash in the palms of our hands. We have fought for so long to have and to hold and when we do, its gone. Then a gust of sorrow blows this remanent from our vary self and instead of choosing to love again we die and never see the mornings dawn again. Hope was something you chased, but never held. You hoped not in love, but in death. I truly do want the best for you, dear friend, but when is it enough? My friend your dying, turn from this debauchery, I plead with you and run to Christ. It is your only hope.

Sex becomes more passionate, more intimate, more free when it is patterned after God. The consequences are far and few in number. Frankly, they don’t hold a torch to the immeasurable affects of arrogance. 

Sex outside of marriage is not conscientious, but debased. Folly leads people down streams of false hope. Pervasiveness ruins lives at the cost of “uncontrollable urges and desires.” With little thought, if any at all, people believe a “cultural” lie. Its merely “a biological urge” and without thinking about the purposes of those urges, we exchange the truth for a lie and sin springs up again like a weed, the very next minute. People committing shameless acts with one another with little thought of the cost to themselves and others. The results of these consequences are paramount. Among them are pregnancy (when children are not the end goal), the AIDS epidemic, which has lead to the death of millions and continues to show itself as a result of sin (that which is outside of God). On a less physical level, sexual choices can transform one’s self image and create, alter, or destroy our most significant relationships. The inevitable is negative.

     

Dear friend, just consider for a moment, a couple committed to each other for a lifetime like this. The two mutually know the other’s failures, insecurities and fears. Though, their faults are many, they love one another. The exude a complimentary relationship that is continuously working and being sanctified into a more holistic projection of the union of the Trinity, the most perfect relationship. The two are always and continually growing in intimacy and increasing in the overflow of the most deepest affection for one another. And this spills over again and again into sexual intimacy as well. Its the most beautiful thing about God that we get to explore with someone else in marriage. Sex inside and protected from within the marriage covenant reaches it’s climax in intimacy, a place where it cannot be found anywhere else.

  

I heard a story about a man’s wife who committed adultery. In their bedroom she told her husband she had been sleeping with another man. Feeling dirty and defiled she wept bitterly as she told him. He got up and walked out of the room and within a few minutes, walked back into the room. He walked up to her and held up her beautifully white, unstained wedding gown and said, “I choose to see you as Christ sees you.”

Where is there wisdom in having sex before marriage or outside of the spoken order of Scripture? I ask because I do not know and because I do not see it. If it were better, would  you not see the prosperity of unencumbered sexual activity all around you? Would you not see provocative evidence of fertility? Would it not be prolific, plentiful and far reaching? I believe we have composed a lie and it will inevitably destroy what we hoped to never loose. 

Why is sex outside of marriage sinful? It robs, steals and cheats. God beautifully bestows sexual intimacy in creation to express inner emotion and affection towards a particular other. Sex is also trinitarian. It exhibits a dimension of intimacy that mirrors the intimacy also shared in the Trinity. Sex, therefore, is designed to reflect the nature of God to us. When sex is perverted it no longer amplifies God, it amplifies sin. Furthermore, it cheats us out of knowing the affection that the Trinity emits, which makes it difficult for the Trinity to be comprehended for so many individuals. This level of intimacy is foreign to our understanding, but it is the deepest and the most earth shattering display of affection we can ever hope to experience with someone in marriage for a lifetime.

To: My Dear Friend